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Codependency in Christianity: 10 Things Codependents Must Do to Change

There are 10 things Christian codependents need to do to change the patterns they end up reacting to depending on health and relationships. If you are an independent person, you live your life focusing on other people. To change, you need to clear your mind and focus on your life by doing the following 10 things:

  1. Get out of your isolation. Whether you are joining a support group, a Twelve Step team, meeting with a friend, or going to professional advice, you should be honest with people about what’s going on in your life.
  2. Focus on yourself. Pay attention to your emotions, needs, and wants. Find out what you need to do to live your life the way you want to live it.
  3. Accept your weakness over others. Be aware of all the vain things you do to try to control others and how they do not work, but they rob you of the time and energy you need to live your life instead.
  4. Commit your life and your loved ones to God. If you admit that you cannot control other people, you will need to dedicate them to God. If you find that you have not managed your life well, you will need to give your life to God and to yourself.
  5. Draw boundaries. You need to learn to say no and learn to say yes (and say yes). You need to be clear about what you will and cannot do and what you will allow others to do and not do for you.
  6. Learn to do it for yourself. When you develop a healthy attitude, you will expect others to treat you with dignity and respect. Eliminate any misconceptions about the Bible that may cause you to feel that you are not good enough.
  7. Stop enable. Let others make their own decisions and find your results. Do not hide, do not lie, excuse yourself, grant bail, or redeem. Stop feeling responsible for other people and let them take responsibility for themselves, as God expects them to be.
  8. Learn to separate and love. You learn to treat your loved ones with tenderness and respect, for they deserve to be treated with dignity and respect no matter what they do. If God can love sinners, you can love them too. At the same time, you can break free from them and live your life as theirs.
  9. Speak the truth about love. Find your voice that speaks your truth, even if others disagree. Do not let others diminish or trivialize your truth and do not make your truth null and void.
  10. Accept the things you can’t change. As long as you are fighting against the truth, you will not be able to decide what you want to do with it. Accepting it gives you peace and allows you to take the next step.

You need not continue to be enslaved by your Christian codependency. You can live your life in a way that cares for yourself and others rather than for others and not for yourself. Jesus said that He came so that you might have a full life (John 10:10). You can have that life by doing these 10 things that codependents have to do to change.

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